Big Wolf on Campus Episode Tags
by killbothtwins
Summary: One one-shot for each episode of the first season of Big Wolf on Campus.
1. 1X01 Pilot

Heidi liked Becky, but she was _totally_ a liar. She said that she'd seen _Tommy Dawkins_ hanging out with her brother. _Tommy Dawkins._

That was totally not possible, because Tommy was cool. Merton wasn't.

Becky had said that Tommy had said that Merton was his _friend_.

 _Totally_ not possible.

But then Heidi had seen Tommy Dawkins at the Factory. He was dreamy, as always. Heidi was disappointed to note that he was with a girl, another senior. And she was _totally pretty_.

Heidi sighed.

But then her attention had been diverted by Becky's geek brother being dragged out the back door by T'n'T, protesting all the way. Heidi rolled her eyes. At least Becky would be happy, although it would probably be bad if Merton broke his arm again.

Heidi turned back to moon over Tommy some more (his eyes _sparkled_ when he laughed, unfair), and noticed him dancing with the same girl.

That's why she was surprised to see the football player spot Merton and ditch the cheerleader to run out after him through the back door.

That was _so_ weird, especially when TnT returned, but not Merton or Tommy. Heidi eventually went out after them, curious about what could have happened. She passed Tommy's date, who looked irritated.

In the back alley of the Factory, Merton had been grinning ear-to-ear at something. He looked touched, like someone had just done something extremely generous. Then he'd run off after what Heidi recognized was the back of Tommy's Letterman jacket.

Hmm.

Maybe they were friends.

Not like Heidi would tell Becky that she had been right.


	2. 1X02 The Bookmobile

Merton watched, unimpressed, as the guy in front of him swung in confused circles, holding a rather shiny longsword at the ready.

"What kind of sorcery is this?"

The man asked, glaring at Merton suspiciously.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Merton said.

"Look, I got a lot of people to read out today, so if you wouldn't mind?"

He gestured towards the door of the Lair.

The man didn't move.

"One minute I was in the royal library and then…"

Merton rolled his eyes.

"There was an evil librarian, it's a long story. I just now got to the middle ages, but if you wait a couple of hours I'm sure I'll read you out a couple of buddies, 'kay?"

He hustled the confused knight to the door and closed it on the man's perplexed face.

"Welcome to the 21st Century!"

Merton called after him, then settled down in a chair, picking up the next book in the pile. He really _did_ have a lot of reading to do.


	3. 1X03 Butch Comes to Shove

Stacey had just finished giving her statement to the police officer when she saw Tommy rounding the corner, trailed by his friend- what was his name- Martin?

Tommy's eyes widened as he came up to her, taking in the two cop cars the Pleasantville police force had been able to muster up.

"What happened?"

He asked, face concerned. Merton ( _that_ was his name) coughed awkwardly.

"I guess you were right about Butch."

Stacey admitted, clasping her arms around herself. It could have been bad, she could admit now. At least her martial arts lessons were paying off.

"No _waaayy?_ "

Merton said. Tommy kicked him surreptitiously.

"You know what, I think I'll wait over there."

Merton moved like he usually did, like he was half stumbling, half being moved by an unseen force. He was a weird kid.

Tommy rubbed his neck uncomfortably.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, they actually got him on camera harassing some kids outside the Factory a couple days ago. They're keeping an eye out."

"Not the only camera he's caught on."

She thought she heard Tommy mutter under his breath.

"What?"

She asked.

"Nothing."

Tommy smiled, and gestured to Merton to leave.

"Hey, you wanna to go get a malt?"


	4. 1X04 Cat Woman

From the files of Merton J Dingle.

Subject: Catwoman.

Initial findings: Subject has shown fondness for milk, fish, and fish products. Is found not dangerous unless some way threatened or jealous. (See full report) Continued friendliness evidenced by following transcripts of communication with "the Pleasantville Werewolf" (name redacted)

* * *

-[postcard]. Front shows picture of London Eye Ferris wheel.

Back message reads: Traveling through Europe. Wish you were here.

* * *

-[postcard]. Front shows picture of gondola on riverfront.

Back message reads: Too much water around here. Otherwise quite lovely.

* * *

-[note enclosed with package]

Reads: These seemed like something you would like. It is good to be home.

~PS. I have included something for your strange little friend.~

[Contents of package: 1 Eiffel tower keychain, 2 boxes of French chocolate, 1 magnet depicting a cat in a beret, and 1 miniature, antique scale guillotine (assumed present for "strange friend").

*note to self: write strongly worded complaint regarding said "strange little friend" comment.

* * *

-[postcard] Front shows picture of ancient castle.

Back message reads: One thing about the Irish, they've got plenty of mice up in their old dwellings. These mice particularly tasty when eaten with small amounts of salt and pepper. I would send you one, but I'm afraid they may not ship well.

* * *

-[postcard, final]. Front picture shows a botanical garden.

Back message reads: Thought I'd stop by the States for a bit. Garden was pretty, although they really should put a sign up by the catnip if they don't want people to roll around in it.

~PS. Heading in your direction. Maybe we'll run into each other.~

~PSS. I look forward to it.~

See you soon.

* * *

Further analysis needed. Status deemed nonthreatening. Make sure to pick up some kitty litter if she's planning to stay with you.

End Report.


	5. 1X05 Witch College

"What happened to your shirt, Freaker?" Becky asked as Merton came in the front door, still clutching the blanket around him that they'd taken from the sorority house. He looked slightly stunned. "And why do you smell like baby oil?"

"You honestly would not believe me." Merton said. That poor shirt. He'd never be able to sew all the buttons back on, even if they had been able to find them among the eyeballs on the floor. Not to mention the slight scalding from the oil. He had very sensitive skin.

"Whatever." Becky said, turning to go back to her room.

The front door slammed open and Tommy came in, clutching a scrap of black cloth in his hand.

"You forgot your shirt." Tommy said, looking at all the loose threads. "Although I guess it's pretty useless after all those girls tore it off you. They were _really_ determined."

He handed it to Merton and turned to leave. He spotted Becky and grinned. "Bye, Beckster."

He called, seemingly not noticing her gaping mouth.

"Hmm." Merton sniffed pretentiously, threw the shirt over his shoulder, and left.


	6. 1X06 Pleasantville Strangler

The dark has started to further creep in by the time Tommy finishes dropping a still disoriented and probably concussed Stacy off at her house. When he returns to the hearse, he finds Merton has fallen asleep in the passenger seat. His mouth is half open and his face is smooshed against the window, which makes Tommy grin.

The jock slides into the front seat, starting up his friend's car as quietly as he can. Still, Merton startles awake anyways, one hand flying towards his mouth and the other towards his hair for whatever reason.

"Tired?" Tommy teases, even as he pulls away from Stacy's house, where he can see lights slowly flickering to life.

Merton blinks at him in a hazy, just woke up kind of way. "Yeah. At least the homicidal ghost had the decency to go on a rampage on a non school night, amiright?"

There's an awkward silence.

"Hey, you want some chicken?" Tommy asks.

"Yeah, I could eat."

* * *

In line at the Hungry Bucket, Tommy taps his fingers on the steering wheel in a rhythm.

"Hey, man." Merton says. "Sorry I tried to strangle you to death and all."

Tommy stops tapping. "It's okay. You were possessed and stuff, which is a pretty good excuse, as far as those go."

"Yeah, I guess." Merton says just as they pull up to the speaker.

Tommy leans his head half out the window, appreciating Merton's admirable restraint in not making any dog jokes.

"Yeah, can I have three buckets of chicken and a large fry?" He requests of the man on the other side of the crackly speaker.

Merton looks at him reproachfully.

If Tommy were wolfed out, he's sure his ears would be pressed down flat.

"Make that two buckets and a medium fry, please." He amends. Merton looks pleased with himself.

The man in the speaker gives them their total and they inch forward a few feet.

In the lull, Tommy looks over at Merton. "Hey, I'm sorry that I almost got you killed by the angry ghost guy."

"Nah, it's cool." Said Merton. "What are friends for?"

They grin broadly at each other, recognizing the absurdity of the situation.

Once handed their chicken, they pull to the side of the road to start devouring their meals. Merton immediately goes for the fries, while Tommy's fangs slip as he bites into a particularly tough piece of chicken.

He grins at Merton, fangs and all. "Yeah, you're right. What _are_ friends for?"


End file.
